Well, I made it to class on Tuesday and I had a blast! I never realized computers could be so much fun. Since I made it to class and participated with a minimal amount of trouble I’m starting to feel a wee bit confident when I sit down at my computer.
The assignments this week are similar to last but more complicated. Several of the assignments I feel are designed to teach us how to maneuver easily around the web and email. The rest of the assignments are read, read, read. Each assignment is building on the previous one. Although Mrs. McComas told us this I can now see it happening.
When I saw the technical assignments, 1.2.2-1.2.6 all I felt was sheer terror. Instead of panicking I read the instructions several times and am taking my time with these assignments. I have discovered that when I try to jump in headfirst I mess up and end up emailing Mrs. McComas several times. I try to complete the assignments before I understand the instructions. Everything is new, so it takes some time for me. I think that for these assignments the best way for me to do them is slow and easy.
On the other hand assignments 1.2.7-1.2.9 are causing some frustration. I have to think, think and think some more. I have to dig out all that personal stuff. I feel exposed. It’s hard to keep your feelings and reasons for choosing a career at the surface when you have several things going on at once. I get caught up in the everyday excitements and responsibilities of taking care of a family and a home and sometimes I lose track of me. I know all those reasons and feelings are still there, though. Tuesday’s class helped resurface all that personal stuff. These assignments would be much harder if I had not already been thinking since Tuesday.
I still feel waaaay out of my league in this class. I sometimes wonder what all this computer stuff has to do with being a speech pathologist. But, I think I know. It will make me more independent as a learner and I believe to be a successful therapist you have to be willing to learn things on your own not just when you have to in order to complete the assignments. I also think a therapist needs to be independent. I’m sure therapists all over have had to step out on their own and try something new for the sake of their clients. I know this is the BIG picture, but this class is so demanding and terrifying I have to think about the BIG picture to get the guts to continue.
I still have trouble with posting all of this, but not technical trouble. I can’t see the expressions on peoples faces when they read this, if they read it. I don’t know what people are thinking about me and that at the age of 24 still bothers me sometimes.